Why Avoid Common Phrases When Talking to Your Child?
When it comes to conversing with your children, using common phrases like “practice makes perfect” or “you’re okay” may not always be the most effective. These go-to sayings could potentially do more harm than good. Understanding why these phrases are not productive can help you communicate better with your child and ultimately raise a happy and confident individual.
10 Harmful Phrases to Avoid and What to Say Instead
Here are 10 common sayings that may do more harm than good, why you should avoid them, and what you can say instead to promote positive growth and development in your child:
Avoid Saying “Great Job”
Research suggests that offering generic compliments like “Good girl” or “Way to go” every time your child accomplishes something may make them dependent on external validation. Instead, provide specific and meaningful feedback to encourage intrinsic motivation and boost self-esteem.
What to Say Instead: Be Specific and Meaningful
Instead of a generic compliment, you can say, “That was a nice assist. I like how you looked for your teammate.” Specific praise can help your child understand the value of their actions.
Avoid Saying “Practice Makes Perfect”
While practice is essential for skill development, emphasizing perfection can create unnecessary pressure on your child. Encourage hard work and progress over perfection to foster a growth mindset.
What to Say Instead: Focus on Progress
Instead of emphasizing perfection, you can say, “Practice the piano so you can finish learning that song you love.” Encourage incremental milestones and celebrate progress.
Avoid Saying “You’re Okay”
When your child is upset or hurt, dismissing their feelings by saying “You’re okay” may invalidate their emotions. Acknowledge their feelings and provide comfort to help them cope with their emotions.
What to Say Instead: Acknowledge and Comfort
Instead of brushing off their emotions, you can say, “That was a scary fall. Would you like a bandage or a kiss?” Show empathy and support to help them navigate their feelings.
Avoid Saying “Hurry Up!”
Pressuring your child to rush can create stress and tension. Instead, collaborate with your child to accomplish tasks together and address any obstacles they may be facing.
What to Say Instead: Collaborate and Support
Soften your tone and say, “Let’s hurry,” to convey teamwork. Address any challenges they may be experiencing and offer support to help them complete tasks efficiently.
For more details on harmful phrases to avoid when communicating with your child, check out this resource.
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