Introduction
Cliques are a group of friends that do not allow other people to join their group and become their friend. Cliques are known to be exclusionary and that exclusion can often lead to bullying. During the middle school and high school years, kids are developing closer friendships and trying to figure out where they belong. As everyone struggles to find their place, cliques and bullying become more prominent. Consequently, identifying the differences between a close-knit group of friends and a clique is essential. Here is what you need to know about cliques including the risks and consequences for kids as well as how to steer your child away from them or cope with them should your child be affected.
Clique Definition
A clique is a tight knit group of friends that do not allow other people to join their friendship. Typically, kids in these groups make it clear to outsiders that not just anyone can join. Another determining factor is that cliques often focus on maintaining their popularity or status.
How to Pronounce Clique
Clique is pronounced like kleek, klēk, or klik. Some people pronounce it like the word ‘click’.
Signs of a Clique
Here are some signs of a clique that differentiate them from other groups of friends:Consists of an exclusive group of people, focus on status, popularity, or climbing the social ladder, ostracize other people, use their power to hurt or humiliate others, insult people by trying to “improve” them, restrict people in the group from socializing with others, experience lots of pressures or rules as a member of the group, gossips or spreads rumors, have members who are bossy or demanding.
The Problem With Cliques
When people think of cliques, they often assume that they are only comprised of the popular kids at school. But cliques exist on every level of the social ladder. And sometimes the most controlling and destructive cliques are the ones that aren’t on anyone’s radar. To outsiders, the group may look like a cross-section of friends who simply enjoy time together. But upon closer inspection, you will see that they are wrought with peer pressure and unhealthy friendships.
How to Tell if Your Child is in a Clique
Kids in cliques are more likely to spread rumors and gossip, make fun of other people, bully those who do not fit with the ideals of their group, make poor decisions, such as experimenting with drugs and alcohol. Cliques also can lead to cyberbullying.
“If your child tends to speak about a certain group of friends consistently, expresses a preference for being around a particular group of friends, or has a name for the friend group they’re in, they are likely part of a clique,” says Gabrielle Schreyer-Hoffman, PhD, a psychologist in private practice specializing in adolescents and emerging adults.
“Parents need to be cautious and recognize that at any age, everyone wants to feel included and part of something,” says Anisha Patel-Dunn, DO, a psychiatrist and chief medical officer for LifeStance Health. “Cliques aren’t inherently bad or negative, provided we teach our children to be inclusive and make sure that when they’re part of a group, they’re not being exclusionary to others.”
“When cliques become exclusionary, it can quickly turn into bullying,” says Dr. Patel-Dunn. “Cliques can be cruel to the people they are not including. Psychologically, it can be very damaging when someone is excluded from the group.”
“Talk to your child about their friends and groups of friends, what they do together, how they feel when they’re with their friends, and if they’re struggling with any issues or problems within their clique,” says Dr. Schreyer-Hoffman.
“Children and teens are very influenced by their peers, especially if their group of friends has narrowed due to participation in a clique,” says Dr. Schreyer-Hoffman. “[This, in turn], may further increase the risk of the youth succumbing to peer pressure or influence due to fears of having a falling out with their clique or angering members of the clique.”
Remember, it is healthy to have friends in different social circles with a variety of different interests. Encourage your kid to branch out and meet new people.
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