Managing Financial Spats in Relationships: Advice from ‘For Love & Money’

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For Love & Money

For Love & Money is a column by Business Insider aimed at answering your relationship and money questions. This week, we address an issue where a reader’s wife is overspending after leaving her husband. Our advice is to foster healthy relationships with the stepkids beyond materialistic gains. Got a question for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.

Money and Relationships

My wife and I got married a little over a year ago. She left her husband when she realized she was attracted to women. Her teenage children blame me for splitting their family, although we understand their feelings. We’ve been trying to navigate this complex situation. However, my wife is overspending to appease the children, and her ex-husband is joining the fray. I worry about our financial situation and don’t know how to intervene without the kids loathing me even more.

Financial Planning and Overspending

Overspending, whether out of guilt or an attempt to win over the children, is not a viable solution. It’s essential to separate your relationship with your stepchildren from your wife’s relationship with her children. Avoid participating in the spending spree and focus on forming genuine connections with the kids. Instead of indulging in materialistic expenses, try to forge a bond through simpler activities.

Dealing with Financial Stress in Relationships

Uncontrolled spending could lead to financial stress in the long run. It might be helpful to set a budget for miscellaneous spending on the kids, preventing inadvertent overspending. Show your stepchildren that your love for their mother and your interest in them goes beyond material possessions.

Dealing with financial issues in relationships can be tough, and sometimes, professional advice might be necessary. Consider finding a financial advisor through SmartAsset’s free tool, which matches you with up to three fiduciary financial advisors who serve your area in minutes. These advisors are vetted by SmartAsset and are held to a fiduciary standard to act in your best interests.