Breaking My Breast Cancer News to My Sons: A Personal Journey

On Jul 22, 2025

Communicating About Cancer Diagnosis to Children

When you were faced with the challenge of telling your children, one of whom might be autistic, about your diagnosis of a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer, it was a naturally daunting task. Your children may have already been aware that “mum is a bit ill”, but the full disclosure needs to handled with gentleness and honesty.

Post discussion, your children might exhibit changes in their behaviour. They might show fear, like avoiding physical contact due to a fear of catching a disease. They might also show signs of anger or sadness, which might be heartbreaking for you to witness. However, these are common emotional responses, especially in the backdrop of a host of contagious diseases like Covid.

Living with Inflammatory Breast Cancer

You were diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer, a rare and aggressive form of the disease that accounts for 1-5 per cent of all breast cancer diagnoses. Owing to the aggressive nature of the disease, you had to start chemotherapy a week after your diagnosis.

Inflammatory Breast Cancer is a “niche form of breast cancer”. Symptoms can include pain, flu-like symptoms, and a visible rash that’s hot and tender, resembling an infection.

Diagnosis and Treatment of Inflammatory Breast Cancer

Despite not finding an obvious lump, you took the proactive step of getting yourself checked. Your diagnosis confirmed your worst fear: You had grade 3 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, the fastest-growing group of breast cancer cells. You had to start weekly chemotherapy and immunotherapy immediately.

However, there’s a silver lining. Following your treatment, tests showed a significant reduction in the cancer. While the treatment was gruelling, it forced you to adapt and maintain calm, especially when dealing with your children.

Preparing for Mastectomy and its Aftermath

You decided to build up your strength before your mastectomy by indulging in yoga, cardio and walking. Upon receiving your surgery date, you promptly switched into practical mode. Despite your fear, you answered your children’s questions as honestly as possible and masked your own fears.

During your recovery, you’ve been trying to be an “average mum for a year”, not stressing about the small things and enjoying the moments when everything is going smoothly.

Resources for those dealing with Breast Cancer

Below is a list of recommended reading for individuals dealing with breast cancer:

Nowhere Hair by Sue Glader: A story about a little girl whose mum doesn’t have hair on her head any more.

Cancer Party! by Sara Olsher: A book that explains cancer and chemotherapy to children.

Mummy’s Lump by Gillian Forrest: A downloadable booklet by Breast Cancer Now that covers diagnosis and going into hospital.

Get Me Back: Sarah Newman is a personal trainer who provides specialist help for people dealing with cancer, both online and in person in the Surrey area (getmeback.uk/experts)